I tried a mini-picspam when the first scraggly hairs appeared. At the time, I seemed to be in the minority since much of my flist was in favor of the approximately 18 chin hairs growing all over his pretty face. Then the next set of pics came out showing that Bradley was apparently going for an actual beard, and the tide turned, with most people begging him to shave it off. I was still weeping at the travesty of it all, but at least I knew I was not alone.
But then something happened.
Yesterday a new interview of Bradley came out. On the surface it's almost too good to be true - ten minutes of Bradley being his ridiculously delightful self, telling stories about wee Bradley at the theater and impersonating David Bowie in Labyrinth, but the truth is that the video is a tragedy in what could have been. Instead of ten minutes of Bradley's perfect face, we have ten minutes of Bradley's perfect face COVERED UP WITH RANDOM PATCHES OF HAIR.
Much to my horror, posts started appearing on my flist. People who had once been begging him to shave it off were suddenly talking about how they were starting to actually like the scraggle. From this I can only conclude one thing: THE EVIL POWERS OF THE CHIN HAIRS HAVE BEEN UNLEASHED IN FULL FORCE.
I cannot stand by any longer and watch my friends fall one by one for fuck me eyes and a tight white t-shirt. HOW EASILY YOU ALL FORGET HOW PRETTY HE WAS WITHOUT IT. I am here to remind you, and I'm not holding anything back.
Let's start by taking a very close look at Bradley WITHOUT the chin pubes. Do you remember this lovely face? DO YOU?
It's no secret that I have a thing for Bradley's shiny hair. And his massive shoulders and manly thighs and perfectly rounded ass, but that's not really what this is about since none of those things are obscured by the current travesty that is happening on his face. However I also have a thing for his jaw, and covering that up is perhaps the biggest tragedy of this whole misguided attempt at a beard.
I made a comment in a recent picspam about how the directors must all realize the perfection that is Bradley's jaw since there is no shortage of shots with him turning his face so that the camera captures that exquisite bone structure.
It's almost ridiculous how many shots there are like this. I am including only a tiny fraction of them here.
JUST LOOK AT HIM. THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE GIVING UP BY SUPPORTING THE "BEARD", PEOPLE.
PLEASE LOOK VERY CAREFULLY AT THIS NEXT PICTURE AND THEN TELL ME TRUTHFULLY IF YOU THINK THAT JAW SHOULD BE COVERED IN ANY WAY.
Here's the thing about the jaw. Not only is it utter perfection all on its own, but IT ACTUALLY EMOTES.
When Arthur is angry, the jaw is also angry.
When Arthur leans in to smell all over Merlin's neck, the jaw falls in love.
When Arthur feels the weight of responsibility for a kingdom, the jaw worries right along with him.
When Arthur says WTF, the jaw agrees.
When Arthur pouts like a child, the jaw shows its petulant side.
OKAY YOU GUYS. ARE YOU CONVINCED? NO? THEN I SHALL CARRY ON.
The face, people. THE FACE.
So
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
ras_elased, like many others who are turning to the dark side, was distracted by Bradley's nipples in that tight t-shirt he was wearing. But guess what? THE SIDE OF GOODNESS AND LIGHT HAS NIPPLES TOO.
AND NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE NIPPLES, BUT WE ALSO HAVE FUCK ME EYES.
AND POUTY LIPS, COMPLETELY UNTOUCHED BY ANY RATTY LOOKING HAIR.
AND FINGERS. IDEK if the dark side has fingers, too. FINGERS.
Imagine what this shot would be with the facial hair.
The hair on his head is so, so lovely, but I weep when I think about how much is lost when we cannot see those lips and that jaw.
If you are not yet convinced, I will bring out the big guns, AKA MY VERY FAVORITE CAPS EVER.
Are you really willing to sacrifice this?
REALLY?
So, there you go. Stand strong, flist. Stand with me and
staraflur and frantic_allonsy and puckling. Turn away from the darkness and face the light that is Bradley's perfect face. P.S. It's been suggested that Bradley is participating in Movember, which is of course a very worthy cause and if that's the case, then he's awesome for doing that. But he better have a date with a razor on December 1.
Caps from bradley-james.net and rawr-caps.net. Linked pic of Bradley from A Night Less Ordinary and Philippa Gedge Photography. YouTube vids from
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November 20 2009, 17:27:22 UTC 2 years ago
November 20 2009, 17:51:28 UTC 2 years ago
November 20 2009, 17:28:39 UTC 2 years ago
I love you. Also, STOP MAKING ME LAUGH AT WORK. I AM RED-FACED FROM HOLDING IN THE SPORFLES. HIS EMOTING JAW, OMG.
November 20 2009, 17:45:42 UTC 2 years ago
♥
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November 20 2009, 17:32:32 UTC 2 years ago
♥
November 20 2009, 17:47:22 UTC 2 years ago
♥
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November 20 2009, 17:39:41 UTC 2 years ago
You should put a WARNING sign for this picspam.
seriously, do it.
November 20 2009, 17:53:22 UTC 2 years ago
:D
November 20 2009, 17:41:33 UTC 2 years ago
THE VILE BEARD CONTINUES TO BE VILE AND HURT ME, IN A VILE MANNER. MY PAIN, IT NEEDS TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED.
Though it will not stop me from studying, in closer detail, the myriad ways in which the jaw emotes :D
November 20 2009, 17:56:45 UTC 2 years ago
ALSO: ASDFGHJK YOUR ICON. See, that right there is EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.
November 20 2009, 17:44:11 UTC 2 years ago
November 20 2009, 17:55:19 UTC 2 years ago
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November 20 2009, 18:00:00 UTC 2 years ago
November 20 2009, 17:46:25 UTC 2 years ago
;)
Yes, I understand that he's trying with very very limited success to make the scruffy look work for him. Maybe it's meant to also be a secret test of fan loyalty?
But let's not lose TOO much perspective--he IS still him under all the unfortunate scruffage. The jaw will be back! Just have faith!
Also, I am actually willing to (ever so briefly) forgive The Moustache (which is worse than the Beard, if you ask me) when he does a Bowie impression like that. I can just picture Colin cracking up when they run lines. OH, BOYS. <3 <3
Theory #345678 Concerning Bradley's Bad Facial Hair--Maybe he got very inspired by Colin and decided to grow it out in an attempt to emulate him. If so...find something else to emulate about Our Colin, Bradley. Please.
November 20 2009, 18:04:25 UTC 2 years ago
November 20 2009, 17:55:50 UTC 2 years ago
All I can think is that first line from The Twits. What a lot of hairy-faced me there are around nowadays. When a man grows hair all over his face it is impossible to tell what he really looks like.
November 20 2009, 18:06:53 UTC 2 years ago
Indeed it is impossible. And why would someone as pretty as Bradley cover it up?
November 20 2009, 17:57:04 UTC 2 years ago
I'm cracking up here that you actually felt strongly enough about 18 hairs to write and compile this delicious picspam essay about Bradley's jaw</>.
I am very, very fond of you at this moment.
Please, if possible, have issues with the way he covers his ass and biceps very, very soon.
November 20 2009, 18:15:01 UTC 2 years ago
Maybe someday when Bradley is back to his clean shaven self, I will do a picspam in which I objectify each and every one of his parts :D
November 20 2009, 17:57:19 UTC 2 years ago
November 20 2009, 18:00:53 UTC 2 years ago
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November 20 2009, 17:57:48 UTC 2 years ago
The face scruff must go!!
November 20 2009, 18:15:47 UTC 2 years ago
It must go soon.
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November 20 2009, 17:58:39 UTC 2 years ago Edited: November 20 2009, 18:02:23 UTC
I went from "hmm, kind of adorbs" at the book signing to ambivalent at the Christmas tree thing, but now? IT'S OFFICIAL, THE "BEARD" HAS GOT TO GO.
Part of this may be because of the ridiculously high resolution of those theatre photos? But holy crap. It's all slightly too long for scruff, too much to call a goatee, too little to be a beard. It grows in a series of tufts and mutant whiskers rather than covering his lower face, and the NECK PUBES, THE NECK PUBES. At least trim those, Brads. The smattering of hairs going off in all different directions? Oh, sweetie. NO.
Basically I should never have looked at it in hi-res.
Thank you for reminding us of the glory of his jawline and chin. I can only hope he doesn't spend the entire hiatus in this state. XP
He has another appearance this weekend... if he hasn't shaved, the mutant whiskers will overtake his whole face. SOMEONE STAGE AN INTERVENTION.
November 20 2009, 18:18:53 UTC 2 years ago
I am already weeping at the thought of this weekend, and how it'll be another opportunity for awesome pics lost to the chin pubes D:
November 20 2009, 18:03:03 UTC 2 years ago
On another note, your arguement is very persuasive, although I am not quite persuaded so uh, I think I need a few more picspams ... *cough* Maybe, maybe a Golden Delicious Hair picspam, or a Globes of Delight bottom-focussed picspam.
November 20 2009, 18:21:42 UTC 2 years ago
I said in another comment that once the facial hair is gone, I will happily and unashamedly objectify each and every one of his body parts in picspam :D
November 20 2009, 18:06:06 UTC 2 years ago
I MEAN, LOOK AT HIS NECK. I SAW
November 20 2009, 18:08:32 UTC 2 years ago
AASDFGHJ I CLICKED TOO. THEN I COVERED MY EYES IN HORROR AND WEPT SOME MORE.
2 years ago
November 20 2009, 18:11:40 UTC 2 years ago
I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY SANDWICH I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. YEAH. I SAID IT IN RYAN'S POST AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN. He was so awesome in that interview that I could almost forgive the beard-thing-whatever-the-actual-fuck.
almost. it's still a travesty. I refuse to accept it as a fact of life.
November 20 2009, 18:23:18 UTC 2 years ago
THIS MUST END SOON.
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November 20 2009, 18:23:31 UTC 2 years ago
This interview would have been an 11/10 if not for that thing clinging to his perfect face. Maybe he's tired of being objectified for his beauty. All his life he must have been staggering under such a heavy burden. My initial impression of the fandom was Colin = BEAUTY + BRAINS, and Bradley = BEAUTY + CRAZY. I bet Bradley may have picked up on that, resented it, and in typical Bradley fashion decided to go in disguise.
It's quite clear that Bradley will not listen to reason. And for whatever reason, Colin isn't doing anything about it though on occasion he has sported very questionable facial hair. Remember the curling sideburns? *shudders* Bradley also clearly has no girlfriends (platonic or otherwise) because who would want to be kissed (even in greeting) with something that looks like a wire scrub? We're at the point where only Mrs. James can make a difference. I'm sure she doesn't want her only son (only child?) looking like a scraggly Dread Pirate Roberts. Only she can nag him back into respectability.
PS even if he's doing it for a charity, surely it's better to draw attention to his good cause by letting everybody know that is his reason for sprouting such a monstrosity. Then we can give money to have it removed. But I worry that he will become like the guy in my class who has been sporting a handlebar moustache for the last two years.
November 20 2009, 19:18:56 UTC 2 years ago
I also had the thought that perhaps he is trying to ugly himself up since he always seems utterly perplexed that he even has fans who objectify him. I'm not a huge fan of Colin's facial hair because I think he also has lovely bone structure, but at least he has the ability to grow it properly over his face instead of this patchy business Bradley has going on.
I WILL PAY MONEY TO BRADLEY'S CHARITY OF CHOICE IF IT MEANS HE'LL SHAVE.
2 years ago
November 20 2009, 18:31:40 UTC 2 years ago
UUUNNNFFF.
THE JAWS EXPRESSION ARE INCREDIBLY NOTEWORTHY.
THANK YOU FOR COMBINING ALL ITS THOUGHTS WITH SUCH A WONDERFUL PICSCAM.
NGL MY FAVORITE WAS JAW IN LOVE WHILE BRADLEY WAS SNIFFING COLIN.
<3
November 20 2009, 19:19:52 UTC 2 years ago
YOU ARE VERY WELCOME :D
November 20 2009, 18:35:40 UTC 2 years ago
His face is so beautiful. I will try to have faith that the scraggle is doomed.
November 20 2009, 19:28:48 UTC 2 years ago
Next up: A FIC IN WHICH COLIN TELLS BRADLEY HE'S NOT DIGGING THE "BEARD" AND BRADLEY BEING BRADLEY MISINTERPRETS THIS TO MEAN COLIN DOESN'T LIKE BODY HAIR IN GENERAL. BRADLEY THEN GETS A FULL BODY WAX, INCLUDING HIS DELICATE BIKINI AREA, AND WHEN COLIN GETS HIM NAKED HE CANNOT STOP CRACKING UP. BRADLEY IS LIKE 'SHUT UP AND FUCK ME, BUT BE CAREFUL NOT TO CHAFE MY SENSITIVE SKIN.'
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November 20 2009, 19:03:49 UTC 2 years ago
IT IS OBVIOUS YOU HAVE WORKED TIRELESSLY AT PROMOTING NOT ONLY YOUR OWN CIVIC DUTY, BUT THAT OF OTHERS.
A++, WOULD HAND OUT MERITORIOUS SERVICE MEDAL IF GOVERNMENT WOULD LET ME.
November 20 2009, 19:56:19 UTC 2 years ago
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November 20 2009, 19:05:43 UTC 2 years ago
AS EVIDENCED BY THIS PHOTO, HE ACTUALLY CAN GROW WHISKERS UP HIS FACE. UNFORTUNATELY, IT IS ALL TRANSPARENT PEACH FUZZ.
/o\ OH BRADLEY NO.
November 20 2009, 19:31:08 UTC 2 years ago
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November 20 2009, 19:10:10 UTC 2 years ago
Though I won't object to you trying to convert me again and again with picspams like this.
November 20 2009, 19:57:57 UTC 2 years ago
If that is what it takes then I shall soldier on. I WILL SPAM THE WORLD WITH HIS FACE UNTIL HE SHAVES IT OFF.
November 20 2009, 19:10:24 UTC 2 years ago
November 20 2009, 19:34:02 UTC 2 years ago
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November 20 2009, 19:33:39 UTC 2 years ago Edited: November 20 2009, 19:34:56 UTC
(image from
November 20 2009, 20:13:54 UTC 2 years ago
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November 20 2009, 19:56:54 UTC 2 years ago
THAT SAID, I. HAHA I, HAHA I TRIED TO TAKE AWAY THE BEARD FOR YOU FROM THE NLO HIGHRES PICTURE BUT. IT JUST TURNED OUT TO BE ANOTHER ADDITION TO MY GROWING COLLECTION OF IMMENSELY CREEPY MANIPS. THE BEST PART IS? IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A ANY OTHER PICTURE. IT'S COMPLETELY POINTLESS. APART FROM THE FACT THAT IT'S JUST UNNATURAL ENOUGH TO BE VERY CREEPY.
I DO THESE THINGS FOR YOU, BINA. FOR YOU.
YES. YOU ARE VERY WELCOME.
AAAHAHA D:
November 20 2009, 20:17:06 UTC 2 years ago
ASDFGHJ THAT PIC. OMG HELEEN, HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME?
IT'S JUST UNNATURAL ENOUGH TO BE VERY CREEPY.
YOU KNOW WHAT IS UNNATURAL? THE CHIN PUBES. I WILL TAKE YOUR MANIPS ANY DAY OVER THAT TRAVESTY.
YOU DO THESE THINGS FOR ME AND I LOVE YOU FOR THEM <3333333
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